Whether or not they have a disability, more and more parents are building families by adopting children with special needs from overseas. The rewards can be great, as long as you know what you’re in for.
By Linda A. Cronin
The author’s nieces Lucy and Kiara are testament to the joy children adopted from overseas can bring to their new families.
International adoption can be wonderful way to build a family. Yet, international adoption is not a simple process to be rushed into without careful consideration.
People with physical disabilities who are seeking to become parents through international adoption “need to be flexible,” advises Vicki Peterson, executive director of external affairs of Wide Horizons For Children (www.whfc.org/), an adoption agency whose main office is in Waltham, Massachusetts.
Some countries-most notably China-are becoming more restrictive in their eligibility requirements for prospective parents. These countries may find they have less children available so they can become more selective about who can adopt. Cultural differences in how disability is understood may account for China’s recent tightening of restrictions on international adoption. People with disabilities in China face much greater everyday hardships than those in the United States, and so, too, do single women, people older than 50, and gays and lesbians. China’s new rules, therefore, outright disqualify prospective parents from any of these groups.
Flexibility Required
This does not mean international adoption is impossible, but it will be easier for parents to be matched with a child if they are flexible about such things as country of origin, the child’s sex, age, and the presence of special needs. Flexibility is important for all people seeking to adopt, not just people with physical disabilities. “If someone only wants to adopt a healthy Caucasian baby, we can help them but it will be harder and may take longer,” explains Peterson. On the other hand, she adds, “Wide Horizons has worked successfully with a number of people with a variety of physical disabilities.”
When looking for an adoptive home, Peterson says, “The needs of the child come first.” During the Home Study portion of the process, the agency is looking for what kind of home the parents can give a child. Their ability to love and accept a child come first. But parents must also be able to meet the child’s physical needs. A child who is 6 to 8 years old may have fewer physical needs but her emotional needs may be great. Agencies look at how well the parents can meet all the child’s needs. “We look at the couples as well as other supports in their lives,” explains Peterson.
At some point during the adoption process (when, precisely, depends on the country the prospective parents are adopting from), the documents must be approved by the United States Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS). Jessica, a woman with osteogenesis imperfecta, and her husband, who adopted a baby boy from Guatemala and are adopting his biological sister, said USCIS “wanted a very specific letter from [Jessica's doctor] that indicated exactly what my medical history was, how my disability impacted my life and my prognosis for the future. They also wanted a letter from family members who would be able to step in and care for my child in an emergency.” After she submitted those letters, their application was approved by USCIS.
Peterson says, “It is very important for people to try and educate themselves” about how the adoption process works. They should “explore different agencies and what they offer. Big differences exist between agencies.” She recommends using the Web to search for information about adoption agencies and countries.
Patti and her husband Lawrence, who has cerebral palsy, adopted a 4-year-old boy with special needs from Russia. She says you must “do your research or find someone who can” do it for you. She suggests you verify Internet information. Patti recommends contacting people with disabilities living in the area you are traveling to. She contacted Disabled People’s International (www.dpi.org) to find someone in Russia to answer her questions.
Patti says, “Research must be updated almost daily as any adoption other than domestic is extremely volatile-laws, attitudes, politics, economics, and travel security issues can change in an instant….It is important to remember you can change approvals to another situation/nation/agency if you choose.”
Patti recommends seeking out adoptive parents with disabilities to talk to and to confer with throughout the process. A listserve for Disabled Adoptive Parents (DAP) (groups.yahoo.com/group/disabledadoptiveparents/) is available and can be a wonderful resource where you can learn directly from the experience of others.
When speaking with parents on DAP-which is where I found Patti and Jessica-I often heard how the agency you choose to work with is extremely important. Many of DAP’s members discussed unhelpful agencies but were also pleased to report on agencies happy to work with them. “Don’t think it can’t be done,” Jessica wrote about the probability of finding a good, helpful agency. “It can. But research your agency well. You don’t want to end up with an unethical agency that wants to hide who you are, especially when there are quite a few out there that will work with you legitimately.
“The ADA applies fully to all adoption agencies doing business on US soil so, by law, they must serve and accommodate the needs of adoptive parents with disabilities,” Patti explained. When telling me their story, she said, “We have experienced every possible negative reaction to our dreams of becoming adoptive parents. We simply take the attitude that we could not possibly want to work with those opposing us, and we move on to work with those who honor the idea instead.”
In the end, Patti says, a prospective parent should “find people you want to work with and cultivate relationships. Do not let yourself or your future child become just one more number for them to process. Your strengths are your uniqueness, your independence and your knowledge of resources and possibilities for parenting they haven’t yet dreamed of.” She suggests people with disabilities who want to become parents network with resources like DAP, Through The Looking Glass (an organization for families with someone with a disability-lookingglass.org/) and other parenting resources for parents. What you must always remember, she says, is, “It’s all about the children’s futures, not about the agency or even about you. And speaking from experience, they are worth it!”
Each country has its own requirements for the maximum/minimum age of parents; number of divorces; length of marriage; whether single people can adopt; ages of children available; length of process; required travel. Some countries require more than one trip while others allow the children to be escorted to the United States by someone other than the parents. Some require longer trips than others. The Ukraine requires adoptive parents to make a trip of at least seven weeks. Some countries have better accessibility than others. All these things need to be considered when choosing to adopt from a foreign country. Some countries that currently have children available are: Ethiopia, India, Philippines, Kazakhstan, Vietnam, and Korea. This is a partial list and more information about countries can be found on the Department of State Web site (travel.state.gov/family/adoption/ adoption_485.html) and adoption agency websites who often list the regulations of countries they deal with. The Department of State can provide information about international adoption through their website, numerous brochures, and a recorded information line, available toll free 24 hours, with information about several countries (888-407-4747).
International adoption is expensive. Ms. Peterson said the minimum costs are from $20,000 to $25,000. Some adoption agencies offer financial help to offset the costs, but these grants are usually only a small portion of the entire fee. For example, Wide Horizons offers grants up to $5,000, still leaving another $15,000-$20,000 in expenses.
Linda A. Cronin is a frequent contributor to Action.
