By Scott Chesney
Well, I said you can ask me anything and you certainly delivered…and I thank you! While I know that taking the time to pour your feelings or thoughts into an e-mail is somewhat time-consuming, I am hopeful that those of you that sent in your questions felt a nice release. Studies have shown that by putting things down on paper or in this instance, an e-mail, one can experience the same type of release that actually speaking to someone generates. I recommend both ways. There is nothing that compares to taking the time to communicate with a loved one, friend, employer, co-worker or in some cases a perfect stranger. On the other hand, your circle of friends may not always be around so picking up your journal or typing up what it is that you may be feeling may be more accommodating for some of you. It’s all good!
Moving forward, my objective each month is to include three e-mails that I have received along with some strategies that I will be recommending to help you, help yourself bring more clarity to this specific issue in your life. Always remember, I am just the messenger. You are the one who will choose to or choose not to take this information and run with it…or shall I be politically correct and say “roll with it!”
Here we go:
Dear Scott, I was paralyzed 14 months ago in an automobile accident and am now a C-6 quad. While I have had some return in my arms and hands that has given me more independence, I really don’t believe too much more is going to return. Do you think a cure for paralysis will ever be found and if so, in my lifetime? I am 42 years old. Brent
Hey, Brent! First and foremost, I am truly sorry that you have to go through this experience. Transitioning to SCI is never easy, but sometimes age can be our greatest ally. You are still young in my book and have so much living to do. Still continue to work hard at physical therapy with hope that even more movement may return to enhance your quality of life. The stronger you are physically, the easier your daily life will be, especially when it comes to doing transfers and getting around.
As far as a cure for a paralysis goes, I still believe that cures will be found in my lifetime and I am just five years younger than you are.
Considering that there are no two spinal cord injuries that are alike, I use the word “cures” because I feel that there will be some treatments that help some people with SCI and other treatments that will help others. My first wish would be effective treatments or even cures for those of my SCI brothers and sisters who are not fully independent, so that they can recapture what so many of us take for granted when it comes to hand and arm movement.
Hey Coach Scott! What is the worst part about being paralyzed for you? Being paralyzed for eight years now, I have my good days and bad days, but was just wondering what your thoughts were on the subject. Allison
Hello, Allison! Great question and one that is very easy for me to answer: Pooping and peeing. This is the hidden part of our disability. Most people who are nondisabled see us and think that we just can’t stand and walk, but for me and many others with SCI, it goes much deeper than that. Having to catheterize, sometimes even seven times a day, is something that I know that I have to do, but can be a big inconvenience depending on where I am at the time. My bowel program is even more of an inconvenience because it is so time-consuming for me, and so many others with SCI with whom I speak feel similarly about their own programs. Please note that the answer to this question will vary from person to person.
Dear Scott, I can’t begin to tell you how frustrating my sex life has been since I have been paralyzed. I try not to think about it, but it was so much a part of my life before I was paralyzed. Any advice? Steve
Hey, Steve! I hear you, brother. It can be quite frustrating…especially when we are thinking about it too much! Do you know that guys who don’t have SCI have trouble performing at times when they are stressed out or are thinking about performing? Get out of your head and into your heart. What I have found much too often with people is that it is more about connection than anything. This begins with communication and ends with communication. While the physical aspect of your relationship will always be important, you will find that it will be less important than making the connection on other levels. More to come on this subject in future columns!
Keeping the questions coming…e-mail me at chesney12@comcast.net.
“Coach” Scott Chesney is a motivational speaker and host of VoiceAmerica Internet Radio’s Maximizing Life. He can be contacted by e-mail at chesney12@comcast.net.
