Here are four sites where dreams of romance for people with disabilities have come true.
By Linda A. Cronin
More people are turning to the Web to find someone to share their life with than ever before. In response, online dating sites are flourishing. When I began my research on disability related dating sites, I was amazed to find over 15 different websites.
There are two basic types of sites: matchmakers where someone reviews your profile and matches you with others depending on your parameters, or sites where you review the profiles and photos yourself and send a message to someone and post a profile of your own.
What follows is a small sampling of what’s out there on the internet for people looking to connect with others-potentially significant others-with disabilities.
D.A.W.N.
D.A.W.N., which stands for Differently Abled Winners Network (www.dawn-disabled-dating.com), is run like a “traditional matchmaking service, making 1 to 1 referrals” said Wendy Wolf, director and creator of the site.
D.A.W.N. is open to people with disabilities as well as people who would welcome someone with a disability. Each person fills out a questionnaire, on the internet or by mail, which asks about likes and dislikes, interests, personality, and what they are looking for in a match. It provides a section for a brief profile, an “introduction” for the people you are matched with. “That’s where you want to shine,” said Wolf. After she receives the application, Wolf interviews the clients by phone.
Wolf asks specifics about her clients’ disability so that she can match them with someone who would be accepting. “No one is turned away,” said Wolf. For some people it may take longer to find an appropriate match, but a lot depends on the parameters they place on who they want. “Some people have a very specifi c idea of who they want to be matched with,” she said. “And for them it may take longer.”
Wolf started the site because she “wanted people with disabilities to have options and not to just settle.” She added, the site is “so much bigger than just marriages. It is about providing connections, dating, romance. Everybody wants to have the feeling of love in their life.” Wolf said she believes “the services
D.A.W.N. provides are just as important as a person’s wheelchair or medication. It provides a component of life which is vital” Three months of D.A.W.N. is $79.95; six months is $129.95; and 1 year is $189.95. Wolf does not guarantee a certain number of referrals or matches because she said it depends on the parameters the individual sets. D.A.W.N. has 250 active members with a lifetime membership of close to 800 members.
DateAble, Inc.
DateAble, Inc. (www.dateable.org) which calls itself “a dating service with a heart” is also a matchmaking service. They “provide assistance with enhancing social skills and developing life goals via telephone through appointment basis.” A membership application is completed on the internet or by mail that includes questions on interests, type of relationships they are looking for and geographic area. A person from DateAble, Inc. calls to review the application. Then, the matchmaking begins.
DateAble promises, to the best of their ability, to match a person with members who share common interests based on the application. “The attention to detail in providing members with quality matches instead of just a quantity of matches led to positive word of mouth referrals and increased satisfaction from members,” said DateAble. DateAble International has made 37,000 matches with over 260 of those ending in marriage. Cost of membership is $125 a year.
EnableLove
EnableLove (www.enablelove.com) is “a relationship and love enabling service for people with various disabilities and life challenges,” said Jeff Meyer, a member of EnableLove’s Client Services team. “The process is very simple.” Registration and use are free. Users browse profiles to see if anyone matches their criteria. To contact other users, people must create a profi le. While creating the profi le, members go through a four step process, “filling out sections “About Me, My Description, About My Match, and Match Description.” In their profile, members can choose from over a hundred various disabilities and life challenges as well as the level of severity and level of independence. Members are allowed to upload three pictures, and search for others by a wide range of characteristics. Myers noted, “it is worth pointing out that members can also conduct searches by the type of disability and level of independence that a person with a disability has.”
When new members join, they must accept EnableLove’s Code of Conduct, which makes it clear the site is for people with disabilities and they must be very respectful of each other. EnableLove watches that members follow the code of conduct to eliminate spam. “We also allow users to ‘Report Concern’ on others.” If concerns are valid, then EnableLove Support team deactivates the account, preventing them from using the site.
EnableLove, which began in March 2006, wanted to “create a visually appealing and professional site that is home to many people with disabilities looking for a relationship,” he added. EnableLove has a more then 3,800 members from all over the world with over a hundred various disabilities. Myers noted, the EnableLove team is working on new features to bring the members closer together, such as chat, blogs, forums.
Soulful Encounters
Soulful Encounters (www.soulfulencounters.com) is another “dating site for the medically disabled,” according to Louise Maxwell, creator of site. At Soulful Encounters users browse profi les to fi nd members who meet their search criteria. Users must be a member to contact other members. This site is free for searching to find people, contacting people or using member services such as chat areas or message boards which are in the process, according to Maxwell. She hopes to make the site “one that persons that have already met someone can still come into the site and find out about medical news and resources.”
Maxwell said Soulful Encounters “offers unique services that I have not found on other sites such as counseling in psychotherapy, nutrition and life coaching.” Letters from the health experts will be posted on a rotating basis and members will be allowed to send in questions. However, said Maxwell “if they would like to use their services, that is separate.” There is a charge, and services are provided on a by appointment basis by telephone.
It was not until she became disabled herself and was unable to work outside the home that she decided to start the site. “I have the belief that there are not too many people that want to be alone. . . everyone seems to want someone in their lives in spite of what people may think,” said Maxwell.
Soulful Encounters began in May 2006 and currently has over 550 members. Maxwell said that although she is located in Canada most of the members are from the states. All kinds of disabilities, physical, psychological, mental, and medical conditions are represented.
Connections
The four sites I’ve described here are just a few of the many dating sites for people with disabilities. They provide a chance not just for love and romance but for a social connection which people often long for. Everyone I spoke with mentioned that it was not just the marriages that have come from the sites but the friends, lovers, business connections, and relationships which develop that are important.
So why not try these sites? Take a chance on love.
Linda A. Cronin is a frequent contributor to Action.
