PARENTING |
By Jessica Haber
After a physically and emotionally challenging pregnancy, my due date had arrived. Unfortunately, my baby was not ready yet. As I said in my last column (August/September 2008), my doctors were not sure what to expect from the pregnancy of a woman with spinal cord injury (SCI).
The plan was to wait until I was in labor, give me an epidural, and try to deliver my baby vaginally. The week after my due date, I was scheduled to be induced into labor. I packed my bags, took some deep breaths, and got ready.
The morning I was supposed to leave, I received a call from the doctor’s office. They wanted to wait it out another week and see if I went into labor naturally. The next week, they said the same thing. This time I said no, I was coming in, and this baby was coming out.
There was no connection between my SCI and the 2 week delay in my labor; it’s just the way it happened. When I finally arrived at the hospital that afternoon, I was given a room and the drug that would induce my labor and the next morning I would have my baby.
The following day I was somewhat dilated and my husband and I were practicing my Lamaze breathing in preparation for what was to come. I still was very unsure that I was physically going to be able to push out a child, but since everyone else was so confident, I went with it. After several hours of waiting and contractions, I was no more dilated than I was that morning. A decision was made that I would have to have a Caesarean (C-section). We would never know if I could have naturally had the baby.
My husband and I were taken to the operating room where after a short time I was handed a beautiful 9-pound boy. I was also told at nine pounds, I would have never been able to deliver him anyway!
Because of the surgery, I couldn’t really get out of bed and was being pumped with morphine. People would come and hand me my baby and I would hold him and feed him and do everything right there in my adjustable hospital bed. It was when I got out of bed and off the pain killers that things started to become a little clearer—and a lot more difficult.
When I got home, I now had to figure out how I was going to handle this fragile little (or not so little) baby. I wasn’t in the best of shape after pregnancy, and the C-section left my torso even weaker than it ever was. I had to try to balance myself while picking up a small human being. This was not an easy feat. It took several days, but I was finally able to position and balance myself with one arm and scoop my baby up with the other. The next problem to solve, now that I knew how to pick him, was how I was going to push myself with him in my lap? This was even trickier.
I spent a lot of time holding my baby with one hand and going in circles before I got a good rhythm. It involved a lot of stop-and-go action while I would push with one arm and hold him on my lap with the other, then try to switch hands. This was made even more difficult by the fact that I was carrying an infant who couldn’t hold up his own head. I got a little faster and more coordinated but it still wasn’t the smoothest ride. Again it was time to get creative.
I started with a stroller. I tried attaching a bar that went from the frame of my chair to the stroller so I could push us at the same time but that didn’t work. I tried different baby carriers, but because of my sitting position they were not working right either. I even tried some things around the house like a belt, then a weight belt (which actually came in handy a year or so later), but nothing was really working the way I needed it to. I finally found a sling that I was able to modify to hold him very close to my body as if I was holding him myself. I was now able to move a lot more freely and just had to watch and steady his head every so often.
It seemed that every time I accomplished one thing, it was onto something else the next day. How do I transfer with him? How do I get him in the car? How do I change his diaper? Every day was a new challenge and even now it still is.
Have questions or suggestions about pregnancy or childcare for women with spinal cord disorders? Write to Jessica at action@unitedspinal.org.
