| ASK THE COACH
By “Coach” Scott Chesney
Stressed out much these days? You are not alone, but don’t let that be an excuse to justify letting your stress overwhelm you.
I’ve received many e-mails from people lately telling me that they can’t deal with the stress in their lives. Many have lost their jobs or are on the brink of losing their jobs. Then there are others who are wanting to launch themselves onto the job scene, but they have lost confidence because of the nation’s economic woes.
These financial stresses have a profound effect on our families, relationships, friendships, you name it. Yes, these are challenging times, but I know my readers, and I know that you are the kings and queens of enduring challenges of all kinds and can certainly weather these storms.
Whatever stresses are going on in your life, take full responsibility for them. Remember: you have a choice how to act or react to any situation. I am not saying it’s always easy, but it doesn’t have to be as mind-boggling, complicated, and stressful as we often make things out to be.
When you realize you’re stressed, what’s the first thing you should do?
Inhale.
Now exhale.
Taking a few deep breaths is a very good start because it calms you down and keeps oxygen flowing to the brain so you can focus your mind on the issues at hand.
Robert wrote me to say he knows exactly when he is pushing his threshold on stress. “Whenever I get too stressed, my arms and legs start spasming much more than usual. The only thing that calms them is when I start to focus on something less stressful.”
While that may sound crazy to some of you, I whole-heartedly believe it, given how great are bodies are at indicating how we feel. Just think about times when you have gotten a lot of sleep, are eating well, and maybe are outside in some good weather. Do you feel like your body has more energy than usual? Now think about those stressful moments and think about how your body feels then. Probably tight and tense, right? Please understand that you have every right to have stress in your life, but it is what you do with it that should be of utmost concern to you.
Jennifer shared with me recently that whenever she gets stressed, she likes to go out for a push and usually makes the journey different each time. “Stress makes me feel even more confined,” she said. “I need to get out of my house and just blow off some steam. If I went the same way each time, I would certainly get bored, so I mix it up a little.”
Variety is one of our basic human needs. Even pushing in a different direction could be considered variety. The lack of variety, the lack of different stimuli in the form or people, events, scenery, etc. can lead to stress. Read a different type of book from what you are used to reading. Drive a different way to work. Eat a different type of food. Watch a television show that you never have watched before. Do different exercises to a whole new genre of music for you.
The last piece of advice I would like to share is normally the guidance I give teenagers, but I believe it is very applicable to adults. Find that person in your life you can talk to about anything and won’t judge you. It is extremely important that we have a sounding board in our lives so we can just vent from time to time. This can be just the release of stress that is needed. Yes, professionals like psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, therapists, etc. can fill this void in your life, so always keep those options open. But if you truly believe you have a good handle on life but just need to vent (as we all do) once in a while, do yourself a favor and find that person who will be there for you. I promise you that you will end up filling a void in his or her life as well!
Scott Chesney is an internationally recognized motivational speaker and life coach, who was paralyzed from a rare spinal stroke at the age of 15, back in 1985. He can be reached at schesney@unitedspinal.org.
This column is intended for informational purposes only and should not be construed as offering medical advice. If you have a medical condition requiring attention, please seek the help of qualified medical professionals.
