| PARENTING
By Jessica Haber
As a mother of two young boys who is spinal cord injured and uses a wheelchair, I had overcome and surpassed many challenges, but this may have been the toughest of all: I was unable to get my newborn into my van by myself.
Because of his age and size, my youngest needs to be in a rear-facing car seat, and the National Highway Transportation Administration advises that children under 12 sit in back of the driver for safety’s sake. The Rampvan I drive has a wheelchair space where the middle row of seats would be, leaving only the front and third row for seating.
In order for me to go anywhere with my children, I had needed someone to help me get the baby to the car and into his seat. Just knowing I couldn’t leave my house when I was home alone with them started giving me cabin fever, even when I had no place to go! So back to the drawing board we went….
I figured that if I could somehow have a middle row of seats, I could figure out a way to get the infant seat in the car. After much thought and consideration, my husband and I figured the best bet would be to take out my passenger seat and install a single seat in the middle row. This would allow me the room I needed to access the driver’s seat, and to also get the baby in and strap my older son in the back seat.
Now the next problem came: finding someone willing and able to do the modifications. I started by calling the local shop that handles accessibility modifications. Unfortunately due to liability issues, they could not help. I proceeded to call and visit several mechanics—everyone had great ideas, but no one was willing to do the work. Safely moving and securing the seat didn’t seem to be the issue, it was the liability.
The accessibility dealer finally gave me the number of a shop they thought might be able to handle the job. I called and was completely surprised when they told me it would be no problem, just bring in the van and they would see what they could do. This wasn’t your everyday auto body shop, mind you. This shop builds race cars.
The following day, I met with the same man I spoke to on the phone. We headed into the van and I once again explained what I wanted to do. He just looked at me and again said, “No problem.” Somewhat skeptical after all the resistance I’d faced, I asked if he was sure it would be safe, since I would be using the seat solely for my baby. He reassured me. They build cars that drive 200 miles an hour, he said; this was not a big deal.
The following day, I was ecstatic when he showed me the inside of my van. It was exactly what was needed. There was no more front passenger seat, instead it was mounted right behind the driver’s seat. I held my breath when I went in, hoping I would have all the room I needed to maneuver around and get myself and the boys in. It was perfect!
I thanked him a thousand times, but I don’t think he had any idea how much he had just helped me. I drove home with the sweet taste of freedom and a big smile.
Over the next few days I had to practice getting in and out. After much trial and error, we had our first practice run. I wanted to go somewhere where we could have some help in case things didn’t go smoothly, so I packed the diaper and bottle bags, strapped on the pouch, put the baby in, strapped in my other son, and off we went to visit daddy at work. We arrived safely without incident—and without an entourage.
I still have to work out some kinks—like how to incorporate the stroller into our outings. Now when we get where we are going, I have a baby in a pouch attached to me, a boy holding my hand (or handle), and a diaper bag on my back. It’s okay for visiting family or friends, but I don’t see us spending the day on a shopping spree at the mall. I’m sure as the baby gets older, it will begin to get easier. I also know that the more we practice the better we will get. I really love a challenge and I value my independence. Matched with my inability to take “no” for an answer, I’m finding that almost anything is possible.
Have questions or suggestions about pregnancy or childcare for women with spinal cord disorders? Write to Jessica at action@unitedspinal.org.
