| ASK THE COACH
By Scott Chesney
Recently, I had the opportunity to speak at an elementary school and the overwhelmingly popular question I got asked was, “Do you think you will ever walk again?”
“Yes,” I responded, “but that is just one road I can take, the walking again road. There is another road I can take, and that is never walking again. I am preparing for both roads, so whatever happens I won’t be disappointed.”
Smiles filled the faces of these youngsters. They got it. Yes, I absolutely want to walk again, but I do not have to walk again. My life is far greater than the use of my body. You may not feel the same way and that is fine, but it will not stop my desire for you to be happy with your life no matter whether a cure for paralysis is found or not.
There are many people with SCI who don’t want to walk again. Some of you who haven’t been paralyzed for long may be outraged by that fact, but I’m fascinated by it. It simply reaffirms that we are all unique.
I wasn’t always this way.
I believe it was about 15 years ago, nine years into my own paralysis, that I heard someone with an SCI say that for the first time. I was blown away, thinking this old-timer in a chair had simply given up hope. Looking back on it now, I realize that wasn’t the case at all. Rather, here was a person who was very grounded in who he was and what he wanted out of life. The majority of his life by then had been spent in a wheelchair, so, he explained to me, he had simply gotten used to living from a wheelchair. He was a low-level quadriplegic who was totally independent which certainly could have something to do with his answer as well.
I was in big-time judgment back then, but I am in total acceptance of that answer now.
But let’s get back to business. Ask yourself where your heart resides regarding the question, care or cure? Which do you think needs more of our attention, more of our dollars, more of our collective energy? Now ask yourself if there is a balance in your desire to do both. That is the target I want you to aim for.
Don’t believe all the nonsense that if you get excited about moving your paralyzed limbs that you are setting yourself up for a letdown. One can really take the approach with anything that has yet to happen if you think about it. Think about full body movement. Visualize full body movement. Recall those magical moments in your life when your body answered your every call and how it felt. If some tears come up, no worries. That is natural so don’t judge it. Put on some good music and visualize moving those toes, those legs, and any other part of your body that may be paralyzed at this moment. Get excited about it and ask yourself, “What will it feel like when, not if, I get back movement?” Pretty darn good I would hope.
Now, let’s go down that other road, the road that you are continuing to travel in a wheelchair. What’s possible for you in your current capacity? Even if you feel confined and you really have not entertained too many options that you may have, just take a moment to go beyond the limitations that are playing out on the screen of your mind. Maybe there is a career you want to pursue, a significant other with whom you would like to share your life. How about a child or two, some traveling, or maybe even a hobby? Be cool with any emotions that may flow as you go down this path as well. If you could begin your entire life all over again, would it be the ideal path you would take? Certainly not, I am sure, but can it still be a happy and rewarding life nonetheless? Absolutely! No matter what your circumstances are, there is room for more happiness and the opportunity to live a purposeful life. The choice is yours.
Recently, I had the privilege of speaking to a group of veterans with SCI who had served in Iraq and was quite inspired to hear from many of them that they wanted to return to Iraq to serve their country. They felt that they had let down their country and wanted to serve their time. I saluted them for their courage and in one breath encouraged them to go after their dream, visualize themselves back in the environment to which they yearned to return, and how that would make them feel. I also asked them to begin to think about spending some more time in their wheelchairs and how their service, in a different capacity, will still be needed. My belief is that if you are still alive, no matter what your strengths and limitations may be, there is still a place and purpose here on this planet for you. Enjoy the journey!
Scott Chesney is an internationally recognized motivational speaker and life coach, who was paralyzed from a rare spinal stroke at the age of 15, back in 1985. He can be reached at schesney@unitedspinal.org.
This column is intended for informational purposes only and should not be construed as offering medical advice. If you have a medical condition requiring attention, please seek the help of qualified medical professionals.
